If you know you or your spouse have a medical condition that has an almost guaranteed chance of passing to a child of one gender but not the other, why on earth go through gender selection to specifically have that gender? I’m on a pregnancy forum, and one woman there mentioned her husband has a genetic disorder that will pass to a son, and it includes infertility. On the infertility issue,
we decided to still go thru with gender selection for a boy. The way Dh looks at it is:
” we have to pay good money for him then he can do the same thing”
Now is it just me, or is this very sad? She and her husband had to go through IVF to conceive this child. They know the heartbreak and cost and hope and hope shattered when there’s no pregnancy. So why on earth specifically aim for a child of the gender you know will have to go through the same thing? I can fully understand going through gender selection to try to have a child of the gender who won’t have to experience the heartbreak as a certainty. But to intentionally put a child through it? Even having a random gender embryo isn’t bad. Gender selection is thousands of dollars per try on top of all the other costs. But why spend those thousands to try making sure the baby will be the gender that will have to grow up and face infertility?
“We had to, so he can do it too,” is a cruel way to look at it. Will the husband feel better if his misery in infertility has company from his son?
And before anyone wonders why I’m having a baby when my health isn’t perfect, we’ve been through genetic screening. None of my conditions are genetic. All are environmental. I’ve been tested for being a carrier of many things, from various trisomies to hearing conditions. If testing can be done for it, I’ve done it. I’m as genetically “clean” as it’s possible to be when it comes to the things that can have prior testing. (I’m on an egg donor registry, obviously inactive right now, and this includes in-depth testing too.)
I’m not going to begrudge anyone from wanting a child and having one knowing there’s a chance a kid can be hit with something. What I can’t understand is specifically aiming, and paying thousands more, for a child who is going to have the same problem. It seems to me good parents should do what they can to prevent their children from being seriously ill or having a condition that could shatter them, if there’s a way to do so, rather than to aim for a child who is ill or has that condition solely because raising Y gender would be more fun than X for Y parent. They get the fun of boy-stuff, and the child will grow up to pay for it, and they know it. They had to pay, so it’s just fine to make their child suffer the same way, and to pay for the increased chance of having that child who will have to suffer. But what’s it to them? They got to have their fun with their child. Hopefully that child will win a lot of money or something if he wants to have children, and good luck being infertile in the dating world.