Are we parents yet?

The Clements’ IVF Journey

Yay for abortions, nay for euthanizing the baby first so it doesn’t feel pain…? May 22, 2009

Filed under: Ugh — Aria @ 8:26 am

NO, I am not getting an abortion. Hell no!!

I’ve been mildly debating abortion for the past couple days, and am trying not to let myself get angry at those who think an unborn baby doesn’t feel, so it’s not inhumane. Also I’m very sick of everyone thinking being pro-life is a religious thing and pro-lifers are just religious zealots trying to push their god-based beliefs off on others. Well, I’m agnostic, and if I’m wrong and there is a god, as I see it, he can fuck off and go to hell. So trying to push “the will of god” onto others is really the furthest thing from my mind.

If this is a topic you don’t want to get into, or you don’t want to be offended if you’re one of the cruel, evil people I will mention, then stop reading now.  I fully expect someone reading this will get offended.  Well, better to be offended that I’m calling you an idiot than to be ripped limb from limb without anything for the pain.  Better to be called an idiot that to live with the knowledge that every day, thousands of people are dying from torture, and only a minority of people think it’s wrong.

Read ahead at your own risk.  You lose the right to complain if you read.  You’ve been warned.

Now in this debate, the topic isn’t the ethics behind abortion being right or wrong. Some people are just to selfish to put themselves aside for the child they created. Birth control fails, accept it. I’ve been in the position, when I was 18 and still fertile, and, despite the “father” being abusive to me, abortion wasn’t going to happen. That’s what adoption is for. If I hadn’t miscarried, at any rate.

No, the debate is about the baby’s pain. I said that, at the VERY least, the baby should get a euthanizing shot so pain isn’t felt.  “But a fetus can’t feel anything that young.”  Um, bullshit.  And why the hell not at least err on the side of caution?  It’s a cheap shot.  Why not try to spare the baby pain?  “There are adults with brain injuries who can’t feel pain.”  And they’re in the teeny teensy tiny minority of people, and how likely is a baby a few months in utero likely to have a brain injury?  We don’t hang child-raping murderers because it’s inhumane, even if it is a very quick death.  We don’t decapitate because that’s also inhumane, even though the guillotine instantly severs the ability to feel pain from the body.  Yet babies are killed by being ripped apart.  This death penalty has NEVER been legal in the US and, in the UK, was reserved for only the rarest of executions (the list of people in UK history sentenced to death like this is surprisingly short).  Yet it’s done at the rate of thousands per day for unborn children who did nothing wrong.

But yet babies feel pain when being killed through abortion.  The Abortion Facts website, which is, if anything, leaning a bit more toward the pro-choice camp, doesn’t even deny this is painful.

You want PROOF you say?  Other than documentation?  You want proof you can see?  Video or it didn’t happen?  Fine!  Here.  Start watching this video at 12:44 in.   I recommend watching the entire video, but this segment at 12:44 starts the video of abortion.  No, not what the woman goes through.  It’s an ultrasound of what the baby is going through.  Dr. Nathanson  goes over how an abortion is done earlier on in the video.

Okay, now before you say that this guy is making a lot of money on this film, think about this: Dr. Bernard Nathanson was one of the three founding members of the National Association for the Repeal of Abortion Laws, also known as NARAL Pro-Choice America.  NARAL is largely credited with getting Roe v. Wade passed, and still works to expand access to abortions,   He was the director of one of the largest abortion clinics in the US, with over 75,000 to his credit.  So the money was in doing tens of thousands of abortions, not doing a film that is freely released.  What does it say when one of the biggest abortion-rights advocates out there, without whom abortion might still be 100% illegal, is speaking against it?

It’s important to realize that Roe v. Wade was passed before ultrasounds became available to see what a baby goes through when being aborted.  The link I gave goes to this video.  You can watch the heart rate elevate, a baby that was just chilling in the womb, doing not much, suddenly panicking (elevating heart rate verifies this) and moving violently away from the probe.  It’s easy to see a tiny mouth open in what is appropriately called a silent scream.  We can’t hear it, but for fuck’s sake, IT’S CLEARLY SCREAMING.

Another part of this debate has been whether or not there should be a law requiring a woman to be informed of the stage of development her baby is in and for her to see an ultrasound, as well as a separate law requiring a woman to speak with a doctor and a counselor before being allowed a abortion.  This is being called an “anti-choice” to want a woman to be informed of what’s going on and to want her to have to talk to a counselor who can help her if she’s being threatened into aborting.  It’s incredibly stupid to say that this is an attempt to guilt a woman into keeping a baby.  If a woman is making the decision to abort without the facts of what’s going on, then she’s not making an informed decision.  If she’d change her mind if she knew that a heart was beating, then did she really want the abortion in the first place?  Denying what’s going on doesn’t change what is happening any more than abstinence-only education makes it so that teens aren’t having sex.  Not making sure someone is informed and educated is truly evil.  If that’s not pushing an agenda, I don’t know what is.  Trying to keep the facts from a woman so she’ll choose an abortion is possibly even more wrong than abortion itself.  It’s advocating keeping women in the dark and then expecting them to make good medical decisions.  And the part about the counselor is wrong?  It’s a GOOD thing to have someone trained  to help ensure a woman is not having an abortion because the father threatened to beat her ass if she didn’t so that he could make her have one.  To argue against this is arguing in the extreme that violence against women is a-okay, let’s protect the abusers if it means she’ll just sign and get rid of the baby.

What is the harm in wanting women to know to know what is going on with their babies what to expect, and for the baby to at least get a shot to put it to sleep?  Really, trying to deny these things indicates that someone is mentally sick.  I hope none of my pro-choice friends would find a problem with euthanizing a baby first or with a woman being fully informed about what’s going and a counselor being there to try to be sure that she’s not being threatened.  Shouldn’t a woman have the right to be fully informed before making a decision that can’t be reversed?  Shouldn’t she have the right to be safe from abuse?  Shouldn’t the baby have the right to life, or, at the very least, to not have to suffer terribly?

I’m not even debating the wrongness of abortion anymore.  It’s wrong, no doubt, but Americans in general are too selfish to put anyone else first especially an unplanned baby conceived from their own action, and Americans in general don’t care two shits about the suffering of others, even if lessening the pain is a very, very cheap shot to give.

Also, if the opposite of being pro-choice is anti-choice, then the opposite of pro-life is anti-life.  Anyone who says “anti-choice” needs to shut up or else start referring to themselves as anti-life.


12 weeks pregnant May 20, 2009

Filed under: Pictures - Tummy — Aria @ 8:18 pm

133.4 pounds as of this morning (almost 20 more than last August, trying not to think of myself as fat…).

C’mon, Baby, grow into a bump big enough for me to feel or see you! I can’t wait until kicking my lungs and all that starts.


The beginning of week…13!!

Filed under: Weekly — Aria @ 10:25 am

I’m a full 12 weeks along now, and now in the 13th week. Holy cow!

Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords… savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby’s tummy. (Much more convenient.)


*head desk* May 19, 2009

Filed under: Off topic — Aria @ 12:29 pm

This is a bit off-topic, but it’s frustrating, nonetheless. Our cat was supposed to have been spayed before we got her. Never has there been any indication she wasn’t. At all. Ever. Only last Friday, all of a sudden, she starts popping a belly. It’s firm, but not rock-hard. Under her nipples it feels like she’s getting kitty boobs. She’s not in any discomfort and still jumps and plays. Her nipples aren’t getting pink at all as every website on pregnant cats has said. She’s never exhibited any signs of heat. She’s always got a ravenous appetite and is extremely affectionate as it is, so it’s no help that websites say these are signs. Star being Star isn’t a sign to work with. The vet says NOW that she might not have been spayed after all, and an e-spay can be done now after an ultrasound. the ultrasound will be about $300 on top of the visit fee, $55, and an e-spay would run about $600, though no slots are open for about three weeks. We obviously don’t want to put her through surgery if she is spayed, but if she couldn’t even get in until three weeks from now, and she’d probably have the kittens by then if she is pregnant, then we don’t want to spend $355 on appointment and ultrasound that would, in the end, be pointless. I’ve got a call in with the local SPCA as well, though it can take a while to hear back from them.

We really don’t need kittens, especially right now. However, if there are kittens, we’re going to do right by them. Keeping them with mom until at least 12 weeks (kittens really are NOT supposed to leave at 7 or 8 weeks, like is so often seen), screening the hell out of homes, spay/neuter contracts, willing to take back any cat forever if the homes, for any reason, can’t keep them, etc..

This just really isn’t what we need right now.


11 weeks pregnant May 18, 2009

Filed under: Pictures - Tummy — Aria @ 11:19 am

Eh, I’m five days late uploading. So this was me at the end of week 11 last Wednesday. We need to stop taking these pics at the end of the day when I’m tired. I miss having boobs. Don’t miss being uber-fat(I used to be 400 pounds, no joke), but I do miss boobs.


Ugh May 16, 2009

Filed under: Ugh — Aria @ 1:32 pm

I swear, if I wasn’t pregnant, I’d think something was wrong with me. I have less than no energy. I went to the store and nearly passed out a few times. My blood sugar keeps plummeting, and I’m actually eating. Only about half of what I eat comes back up, but when I’ll eat an entire box of cereal in one sitting, this isn’t so bad. I am living with constant mild migraines (what an oxymoron that is). It’s only 90 today, but I feel like I’m cooking alive. I just now went to the dryer since one of our cats is in it, to see what she’s doing, and that minor exertion has my heart racing.

I’ve eaten an entire box of Swiss Cake Rolls (270 calories per pack times six packs in the box), a bunch of chocolate chip cookies (300 calories), a thing of Starburst (240 calories), and have drank a few diet cream sodas (no calories) and a bunch of cranberry-strawberry juice (110 calories per 8 ounces times four cups) today. 2,600 calories, and there are 3,500 in a pound. And yet I only weigh .2 of a pound more than this morning. This is how fast I’m burning through sugar. All of this has stayed down.

I still need to post my 11-week non-bump pic, but can’t be bothered to offload it and upload it. I just want to do nothing but eat (which makes me throw up), lay on the bed naked with the fan pointed on me (maybe I shouldn’t be wearing jeans right now), and sleep (this insomnia is driving me nuts).

At no point did I every expect pregnancy to be a breeze, so while I’m complaining, I’m also pretty glad for it. I’d rather feel like I do now for the full nine months and have a healthy baby than to be a ball of energy feeling fantastic, but only dreaming of parenthood.


The start of week 12 May 13, 2009

Filed under: Weekly — Aria @ 12:10 pm

I will take and post a weekly non-bump/bump photo tonight. For anyone saying, “It’s too early, stop being stupid,” there’s nothing stupid about wanting tangible proof of a baby being there, especially with having had four losses. I will no longer approve comments telling me this. Kind of pathetic how may people think they know better than doctors about my health (and telling me that my medical history with a pregnancy now is impossible – apparently not), and think they know more than me about pregnancy, based solely on my wish to have a bump. I’m thin enough, and it is frustrating to have no visible signs other than my B-cup boobs now runnething over in a D-cup bra. But, as the doctor said, I’ve got a lot of things in there that are tight, which will likely make me take longer to show, a lot more that has to stretch out.

Anyway, what will happen this week?

As you move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby’s systems are fully formed.