Are we parents yet?

The Clements’ IVF Journey

Moving and nursery a no-go? May 27, 2009

Filed under: Frustrations — Aria @ 3:22 pm

Well, we’re still working on trying to be able to move. It come down to both job-transferring and an apartment being available at the same time. We almost had everything lined up, but then the contact lady was an idiot and didn’t get back to Cody for THREE WEEKS, by which time someone else had been hired. That location is full of green people who don’t have enough training. They really needed all the transfers they could get. Now the only position open is a senior assistant manager position. He’s checking every single day for openings anywhere in that area, and I’m checking multiple times a day for apartments. We had one we really loved, but had to speak with Jen regarding the transfer for his job. It was at that point that it took her three weeks, by which time everything fell apart.

So it’s looking more like we’ll be staying here, which is far less than ideal for many reasons. If we stay here, we’ll be far away from any family, and so I’ll be recovering from surgery and caring for a newborn completely on my own. I don’t have any friends in this area I can call up and ask for help. They’re all in other states (damn the lack of teleportation machines). And Cody’s family would help – if we were local. Which we’re not. I’m not looking forward to spending nine or ten hours alone every day during the last trimester and then nine or ten hours a day alone post-surgery. It’s not going to be safe. I’m going to have to see if insurance will cover a part-time nurse or something. Before anyone says that many people have c-sections and are just fine, most don’t have my medical history, and most have help locally. I do not.

I have no idea how we’re going to fit baby stuff into this apartment. It’s not large, not by a long shot. I supposed we could set the living room up as our bedroom and use the bedroom for a nursery? There really isn’t enough space in the bedroom for both our stuff and a baby’s stuff. I don’t know where we would put the couches from the living room. They’re nice leather things imported from Italy. I don’t want to have to throw the away or sell them. I’m seeing few options right now though. We have a small bedroom with a window on one wall, the door to the living room on another, and a short hall to the bathroom, closet, and washer/dryer on another. This:

Our bed and two nightstands take up the wall with the window. A larger dresser is on the corer straight in front of the door.

A nursery here isn’t possible, but we have to figure out something we can do in case we don’t get to move. And it’s just looking more like we’ll be staying here. I am extremely unhappy about this. Any ideas for making the best of things would be appreciated.


5 Responses to “Moving and nursery a no-go?”

  1. emkj3606 Says:

    Honestly, while there’s something to be said for the experience of putting together a nursery, babies don’t need their own room. We’ve put a nursery together for both of our children and used it exactly nonce. We co-sleep, and our oldest didn’t start sleeping in his own room until he was nearly 1 1/2. He never slept in the crib.

    If we were in your situation, I would get a good bed rail and keep the baby in bed with you guys. Get a dresser and put it in your closet, and put a changing pad on top of the dresser (that’s what we did and we had a dedicated bedroom–it was just easier that way). You can get a Pack and Play or something and set it up in the dining room for a napping space/mobile changing station, and just focus on smaller baby “gear” (although IME, also, the gear was mostly useless–save your space and money for a really great baby carrier/sling)–they have “take-along” versions of swings, bouncers don’t take up much space, and things like a Jumperoo/Exersaucer won’t be used for several months anyway.

    Babies don’t need much–they really just want to be close to you.

  2. Aria Says:

    I really wish that would work. With the way the shelves are in the closet, we can’t fit a dresser in there. There are only a couple on each side, but spaced widely enough apart that the space can’t be used very well. Whoever designed the closet gets an F-.

    Our dining area is so packed right now. A table with my sewing machine and an ironing board completely fills the space. I need that stuff up here – it’s how I make money. The living room isn’t big enough for a coffee table with a couple couches in there. Our bed takes up almost half the usable space in our bedroom. I don’t know where we’re going to put anything to fit in any baby stuff. We don’t have storage here aside from the closet. We don’t keep clothes in the closet! Our dresser is the place for our clothes. Since it doesn’t hold much when it comes to two people, we use laundry baskets to hold stuff. There’s no plan for a changing table (those things really get such temporary use. Pack and plays aren’t large. But we don’t have the room. Not unless we get rid of some of our furniture, which is the plan right now. We have to sell some of our furniture for the space.

    If Cody wasn’t a tosser and turner at night, I’d be all in favor of co-sleeping as long as possible. It’s the only way to fit a third person into an apartment that really isn’t big enough for the stuff of two people, in an apartment the managers actually approved for just one person. High chair, bouncer, swings – we seriously, literally, do not have the floor space for those and room to walk around.

    This apartment was only intended to be a temporary place to stay until the store down south opened. We were never planning to stay here longer than a handful of months. Much of our stuff we never bothered to unpack when we were going to just pack it up again shortly. Or at least that was the plan. I really don’t know where we’re going to put even baby clothes aside from just getting another laundry basket.

  3. psychohist Says:

    We bought a crib but haven’t used it much; Margaret is still cosleeping at 11 months. The crib is in our bedroom, which is about the same size as yours, though we did move the linen chest out to a spare room to make space. A king size bed is nice for cosleeping; a queen would probably be okay, but anthing smaller than that would be a problem.

    We don’t have a dedicated nursery. Margaret’s toys are spread between several rooms – the ones that we use the most – so we can pretend to surf the web or whatever while spending most of our attention watching her. You could do the same with your living room, though you’ll have to baby proof it gradually as your baby becomes mobile.

    I think the biggest thing you’ll have to figure out with your arrangement is how to handle things when one of you wants a break or some alone time while the other is taking care of the baby. Wonderful as babies are, you do still need alone time. If you both have laptops, a wireless network would let you move to whichever side of the bedroom door the baby is not on.

    With respect to cosleeping, I know the recommendations are against it, but it has worked well for us so far. We minimized the risk by putting her on her back to sleep, trying to adjust the blankets so she didn’t get too hot or too cold, and Elizabeth not drinking during or after pregnancy.

  4. psychohist Says:

    Hm, my comment must have crossed with yours. Cody moving around a lot while asleep might be a bit of an issue. They do make folding in-bed cosleeper things that help keep people from rolling onto the baby, but I don’t know if that would work for you.

    You might want to consider a “cosleeper” bassinet instead of a crib at first. These evidently go beside the bed, and look to be a lot smaller than a crib. We used this arrangement with the baby carriage/car seat for the first couple of weeks – partly because Margaret really really liked the car seat – but an actual bassinet would be better for the baby’s back.

  5. jewelssparkles Says:

    Random thought, is it possible to make the loungeroom the bedroom (for both you guys & the baby) & make the current bedroom the loungeroom? That way you’ve still got the couch & tv/privacy area (even though it’s small) & you can fit the *important* baby stuff in your bedroom. There’s really not that much you *need* in the house for the first 4-6 months or so, as until the baby can sit up they can’t really use highchairs & bouncers. So all that’s really required is somewhere to keep the clothes, nappies, creams, etc (even if it’s just a few drawers in your cupboard), somewhere to change the baby (even just a specific blanket that you can put on the bed/couch/floor while changing bub) & somewhere for the baby to sleep (you can buy attachments for beds like this that take up far less space than a crib, but are safer than cosleeping for people who are worried that they toss & turn too much).

    Obviously it wouldn’t be a permanent arrangement, just until you found somewhere bigger, but it’s better than nothing.

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