Are we parents yet?

The Clements’ IVF Journey

Well… May 30, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Aria @ 11:32 am

…the arraignment is in July. The guy’s getting hit with a misdemeanor. The bank will also be going to court as defendants. The screwed with the account and put someone else on the loan without consent.

It can still take several months to get the car back. At this point, we don’t want it. Not now. I’m not going to get into what we’ve got planned. If we take it to court versus getting them to accept our deal, the less available publicly (public as in beyond my control who can read it, like this entry), the better, for the time being.

We are really lucky though. This isn’t the end of the world for us. In fact, we’ve got a spare care. Sure, it can’t be legally driven without a new motor because a piston is blown and it can’t pass smog and be registered, this the cost of this is certainly a lot less than buying a whole care. It’s a loaded Sebring convertible that gets great gas mileage, and it’s actually a nice car. I feel rich in that we have a car that’s just been siting there collecting dust. If this is our idea of having it hard for a while, we know we’re very fortunate. I’ve certainly seen harder times in my life (you don’t get more rock bottom than homelessness, where I’ve been), and we know there are many others who are having it much tougher, for whom a dispute over a car can mean the difference between getting to work and paying rent, or ending up on the streets. So this really is only a moderate inconvenience, even if it’s a major annoyance.

I think I’ve got a ride to the doctor on Monday. I lost a pound and a half between yesterday and today. I need to have that testing done. Other than this, it’s uncomfortable to put pressure on my abdomen. It feels more full. Baby’s growing!

Star’s also going to be due soon. We can feel her kittens squirming around, and she’s as big as a cat-house. Right now she’s got my right arm pinned underneath her. She’s showing remarkable little discomfort, and we like to think that’s because we treat her so well that the comfort she gets outweighs any discomfort. We are completely willing to keep as many kittens as we must. They will NOT end up in homes we fear may throw them in shelters later, even if this means we keep them all. We’ve got a zoo already, but we’re also dedicated.

Yoda hasn’t been found. Long story short, we know what happened. We want his body so we can cremate him. We’re still looking, and have accepted we might not find him. Sad as we are, a ton of tears haven’t been shed. He’s not uncomfortable, and we love him enough to want his comfort over wanting him to be uncomfortable to be alive with us. While we miss him, we even are happier for him to be resting and at peace. He matters more than our wants for ourselves.


ARGH! May 29, 2009

Filed under: Ugh — Aria @ 4:44 am

Interesting how someone can break into your locked garage, take your car from the garage, admit to police he didn’t have permission to be there, and all the can charge him with is trespassing and getting the car or your personal possessions back is a civil matter.  Sense this does not make.

So now we are car-less and I can’t get to a very important medical test today.   It’s 5:42am after a long night and me making a citizen’s arrest at the police officer’s suggestion per the sargeant, so I’ll have to update on the appointment tomorrow.  It’s not like I can get anywhere until we get this into court, and so now it can be months before we can get our car back because it’s a civil matter.

Oh, and ther arraigment of the guy who broke in is in July, but it can take longer than that for us to get our car back!!  And our uktrasound pictures are in there.

By the way, never use Wachovia Bank.  Ever.  It’s complicated, but they are actually at fault, and the police have it documented.  It doesn’t help that they put his ex back on the loan without anyone’s consent.  Not that the problem is her – we love her to pieces.  But they had no legal right to put her on a loan without her permission.

I really didn’t need any of this.


Moving and nursery a no-go? May 27, 2009

Filed under: Frustrations — Aria @ 3:22 pm

Well, we’re still working on trying to be able to move. It come down to both job-transferring and an apartment being available at the same time. We almost had everything lined up, but then the contact lady was an idiot and didn’t get back to Cody for THREE WEEKS, by which time someone else had been hired. That location is full of green people who don’t have enough training. They really needed all the transfers they could get. Now the only position open is a senior assistant manager position. He’s checking every single day for openings anywhere in that area, and I’m checking multiple times a day for apartments. We had one we really loved, but had to speak with Jen regarding the transfer for his job. It was at that point that it took her three weeks, by which time everything fell apart.

So it’s looking more like we’ll be staying here, which is far less than ideal for many reasons. If we stay here, we’ll be far away from any family, and so I’ll be recovering from surgery and caring for a newborn completely on my own. I don’t have any friends in this area I can call up and ask for help. They’re all in other states (damn the lack of teleportation machines). And Cody’s family would help – if we were local. Which we’re not. I’m not looking forward to spending nine or ten hours alone every day during the last trimester and then nine or ten hours a day alone post-surgery. It’s not going to be safe. I’m going to have to see if insurance will cover a part-time nurse or something. Before anyone says that many people have c-sections and are just fine, most don’t have my medical history, and most have help locally. I do not.

I have no idea how we’re going to fit baby stuff into this apartment. It’s not large, not by a long shot. I supposed we could set the living room up as our bedroom and use the bedroom for a nursery? There really isn’t enough space in the bedroom for both our stuff and a baby’s stuff. I don’t know where we would put the couches from the living room. They’re nice leather things imported from Italy. I don’t want to have to throw the away or sell them. I’m seeing few options right now though. We have a small bedroom with a window on one wall, the door to the living room on another, and a short hall to the bathroom, closet, and washer/dryer on another. This:

Our bed and two nightstands take up the wall with the window. A larger dresser is on the corer straight in front of the door.

A nursery here isn’t possible, but we have to figure out something we can do in case we don’t get to move. And it’s just looking more like we’ll be staying here. I am extremely unhappy about this. Any ideas for making the best of things would be appreciated.


The start of the 14th week

Filed under: Weekly — Aria @ 10:57 am

Mmmmmmm, lemon. So at the end of this week, I’ll have a lemon!!

Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.


13 weeks pregnant

Filed under: Pictures - Tummy — Aria @ 9:27 am

13 weeks pregnant, 131.8 pounds.

I was so tired I was slouchy and don’t care.


More on Yoda May 24, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Aria @ 9:10 am

I don’t think it’s possible to find a cat more well-loved than Yoda, or well-traveled! Because he’s as old as he is and needs lots of attention and we have to closely monitor him for weight-loss, our trip to Santa Barbara a month or so ago would have been canceled if we couldn’t take him with us. Trips can be re-planned. Yoda can’t be replaced.

In 2007 he got very sick as well (he’s old!), and wandered off for two weeks, and when he came back, it was like he had a new life in him. It was amazing. Right before that, before he wandered off that time, I got this picture of him with Emma. In case you can’t tell, our animals are cuddle-whore. They get so many hugs and spend so much time in our laps (even the girls, who are in the area of 50 pounds each!!), that it’s natural for a cat and a dog to cuddle up and sleep. They learned it from us, have an expectation of it, and so are extremely affectionate with each other. I love this sooooo much.

I’m hoping my stomach settles soon so I ca go do some searching. Even if he’s died, we want to find him. Our plan is to have him cremated and, because there’s no location special to him due to all the moving we’ve done, his place is with us. We want to keep his ashes and, when we go, have him still kept with us and buried with us. No where else is fitting for him, and the thought of him being thrown out in garbage or his ashes scattered somewhere meaningless just makes me see red. He deserves so much better than that!! It’s the least I can do for him, and it’s nowhere near as much as he’s done for me on our years together.


Animals update May 23, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Aria @ 11:38 pm

Star’s definitely with kittens. I’m angry we were lied to. But the situation as it is is what we have to work with. She’s too far along for an e-spay (aborting and spaying at the same time) as that much blood and fluid loss all at once could kill her. Thing is, she NEVER had any of the heat signs, none of the rearing up of her butt, the “I’m in heat, screw me” screeching meow, none of it. The only sign I guess you could say she’s had isn’t a valid indicator with her. She’s always extremely affectionate. I don’t think she could be more so. So affection doesn’t count as a sign. We know it’s 100% definite now as I can feel moving. An e-spay won’t work safely, and we’re not going to rush to the vet for an ultrasound. I’ve delivered kittens before, even though my area was dogs at the vet hospital. So…I think this comes at a “good” time now. I’m sure you’re asking, “What the hell do you mean?”

It’s typical for Yoda to disappear for an entire day or two, and then he comes out from under the bed or from behind a box in the closet. He’s been gone three days, and he is nowhere inside. We’ve ripped the place apart. He’s not here. He had to have slipped out the door and managed to get through the gate. He’s only allowed on the porch with his age (24 years). But he’s not there.

This cat has been with me through every major event in my life, both good and bad. He’s been the one constant in my life through all the turmoil, chaos, and utter drama. He’s been with me through just so much, and lived in so many places, on both coasts, with me. It’s important to me that he meet the baby. How can I have the baby without him being here for that? It seems wrong.

And now we’re worried he may have gone off outside, slipped out, and to find a place to die.

And yet if he does just that, I’ll feel lost but not devastated. We decided last year that, because he has a fighting spirit and hasn’t given up, even when he’s been sick, we were going to let him go when HE decided he was ready, rather than euthanizing him. I know Yoda, and he wouldn’t want us to decide for him. Last year he had an aural hematoma, and that usually requires surgery so it doesn’t get extremely infected. He’s too old for surgery. So the options were to wait it out (with grim odds), or to euthanize. I originally decided to euthanize, and was holding him crying and telling him I was sorry, and when I said I didn’t want to have to let him go, I swear he looked up at me fiercely with this look that said, “Don’t you dare quit on me! I’m not quitting!!” And he started to get better QUICK.

This is when his ear was starting to look BETTER!!

The cartilage in it split into a front side and a back side and it was so inflamed, and it abscessed. It was awful, but he was a fighter. We gave him kitty pain meds, but he was going to fight. You can tell in that picture that he’s got a kitty smile on his face, even with his ear like that.

This was him the day after Christmas. His ear shriveled up, but still bright-eyed. He had a jacket on, and I put Christmas ribbon on him, and then took him into the grass for a bit.

Even though we still have two more cats (and one of them pregnant, ugh), and two dogs, the apartment feels empty without him in it. I do hope he comes back.

Tomorrow will be aday for more searching. I’d rather find him, even if he’s died, so he can be cremated and kept with us.