Are we parents yet?

The Clements’ IVF Journey

Telling the grandparents and uncle April 2, 2009

Filed under: General thoughts — Aria @ 2:41 pm

The only people who don’t know yet are Cody’s parents and brother, and my mom.

My mom is a lost cause to the world, so I don’t know if I’ll really bother telling her. I have no idea how to find her without driving hours to the town I know she lives in and tracking her down. Cody and I overstretched ourselves financially in December to help her, and…let’s just leave it at she drank away hundreds of dollars of money lent to her, and then some. We’re not enabling her anymore.

Cody’s parents live down in Santa Barbara, and we’ll be heading down there later this month.

We plan to tell his dad the night after we get there, since we’ll be getting in late the first night. Or more like Cody will tell him while I hide somewhere. I am intimidated by his dad for some reason, and I get this feeling his dad may not be thrilled, even though Cody is his own son, so his only grandchildren will be from us. He has no idea we’ve been going through IVF or anything.

His mom we’ll tell on her birthday, the following night. She will be so thrilled she’ll probably be screaming and crying. Right now she has three other grandchildren from Cody’s brother (different dads), but rarely gets to see them due to distance for the girls and a bitch-ex for the boy. She knows the mountain we’ve been trying to climb, and has been so supportive. I can’t think of a better birthday gift than to have her open a box and see the first ultrasound picture.

Cody’s brother will be told at some point in the next few days. Thing is, he’ll probably blab to their mom, and we don’t want that.

Well, also Cody’s buddies in SB don’t know. He’ll tell the when we’re down there. I’ll probably stay with his mom while he sees them. Except for a couple, his friends weren’t very nice to me when I saw them the first (and last) time I met them last summer. Truth be told, I felt very much like they were making sure I stayed an outsider by ignoring me when I would try talking and, at most, quickly glancing at me like, “Is she still here?” We stayed at that house for the three nights we were originally planning to stay there, and hardly a word was said to me, except by one person named Curt. I was overall so uncomfortable that I cried a few times. Literally cried and wished I could find a hole so I could crawl into it. No one seemed to think favorably about getting married, one telling him they hoped he wasn’t thinking about marrying me. So hell if I know how smooth it will go when he tells them that not only are we getting married, but we’re going to be parents. The other person who was nice to me wasn’t in this group, and she’s Ari.

Really, I’m only looking forward to seeing his mom and Ari. I’m stressed about the rest. But as long as I can hide over at his mom’s house, I should be okay.


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