That is how I feel. Ugh.
It’s odd how I both am thinking, “Damn, I don’t want to feel nauseated and achy and tired and headachy and my tummy in knots,” but on the other hand, I know I’m lucky to get to be in this position. It is bad of me to complain about feeling blah when it’s a step I must take to get what we want?
I know there are many MANY people in this country who are in the position of needing IVF to have a baby. But this isn’t the UK. You either have a lot of money, the ability to get into a ton of debt, insurance that might cover a little bit of something, or a combination of those. Two years ago I had none of them (if you don’t use credit AT ALL, then it’s surprisingly hard to start once you try – being able to live within your means doesn’t sow responsibility to the credit bureaus, and your credit score really is a measure of how much interest can be made off of you, which is why paying on a card for five years looks better than paying it in full every month).
And then we got insurance that covers some, even if it has been a fight to get them to pay, but it was enough to get us in the door at Stanford, and then into debt from there. I don’t even like to think about how much debt we have right now, but oh well. I guess $15,000 or so isn’t so bad in the scheme of things. The average debt including all non-home loans that Americans have is far more than that. So we’re in good shape.
And we really are lucky to “get” to have this kind of debt. It’s not the kind for a plasma tv and other things we don’t need and will throw out in ten years. It’s for something for the rest of our lives. A baby is worth it.
Still, I’m wanting to complain about feeling like hell, like I’ve been beaten with a bag of bricks. How I feel right now is comparable to the chemo I had, though not quite as bad just yet. It’s only a bag of bricks versus being smacked with a big-rig truck.
I am nauseated a lot and have been throwing up a lot, a few times just barely making it to the bathroom and not even getting over the bowl properly. Poor toilet seat. So naturally this makes me worry about whether or not I’m taking in enough calories and nutrients, though I haven’t been losing weight, so I guess that’s okay, right? I’m also taking Centrum multi-vitamins with two additional calcium/magnesium/zinc supplements, and 800mg of folic acid.
Also, completely off-topic, but I thought that this story is very sweet. A couple divorced after 27 years of marriage, and then the ex-husband needed a kidney transplant. The ex-wife volunteered to be tested and was a match. Through all of this, they fell in love again, and remarried 17 years after they divorced. 🙂 I love these heart-warming stories