Are we parents yet?

The Clements’ IVF Journey

Heavy decisions February 23, 2009

Today we had an appointment with out RE and I ended up crying and feeling like an idiot when the doctor told me we’d been on her mind a few times since the test came back negative, and that she’s sad for us. Dr. Baker is very sweet. I like her very much.

Two IVF cycles without being parents is hard. So we’re going to do a natural FET cycle. Usually the cycle is medically controlled, but there’s new evidence than a natural cycle has a higher chance of success.

What this means is that we’ll basically go with my natural cycle using ultrasounds and OPKs (ovulation predictor kits) to determine when I will naturally ovulate, and then there will be just one injection of an hCG called Ovidrel. Seven days later we will transfer embryos. This is rather than using Lupron and other drugs to basically control everything to a T. And 15 days after the Ovidrel will be a pregnancy test.

If this cycle doesn’t work, we’re going to need to resort to using Essure to block up my fallopian tubes closer to my uterus. Right now they’re blocked higher up. Closing them lower down will lessen the risk of hydrosalpinx causing any problems. The downside to Essure while pregnant though is that it can result in a ruptured membrane, meaning a chance of early delivery, meaning I would be even higher risk than I already will be.

I believe the plan is to thaw four and hope to have two make it. The chance for each is about 80%. I know Dr. Baker doesn’t want to thaw more than four right now, to save five for the case that we need to resort to the Essure.

And this is the point where we’d need to weigh our options, to try the Essure or to try a surrogate. Adoption using an agency is out of the question unfortunately, so we really are at the end of what we can do. One cycle of FET, and then to either try Essure and then another FET with the risks, or a surrogate. We are incredibly lucky that two people we absolutely trust have both offered to surrogate without our asking. Rachel, a friend of mine since high school, is currently TTC herself, so I think she’ll be out for the time being. And Randi, Cody’s ex-wife (who is still a very good friend to us both) offered, and for some reason I can’t quite pinpoint, I really like the idea of her being our surrogate.

Heh, Cody and Randi would be listed together on the birth certificate and I’d have to adopt my own baby….

Lucky as we are in the surrogate-department, I’m still feeling very sad and without any hope. If this next try doesn’t work, should we go with a surgical procedure and implants that could result in early birth, or should we go the surrogate route and I’d be the adoptive mother to my own child, not on the birth certificate? I want to carry my own children, and now don’t feel like anything will make us parents.


One Response to “Heavy decisions”

  1. Rachel Says:

    Just wanted to let you know that if you adopt your own child (or any child for that matter) your name will be put on the birth certificate. At least that is the law in Oregon. Just wanted to let you know. Wishing you nothing but the best, as always.

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