Are we parents yet?

The Clements’ IVF Journey

Got the call, and it’s official. Negative. February 16, 2009

Filed under: Sadness — Aria @ 12:29 pm


Long before IVF was even a consideration, adoption was the first course, but I was one turned down because of medical issues that came after being hit by a car. It made me too risky. As they see it, what if I have problems from it again? by the way, the children in mind were a set of black sisters aged 8 and 10. Older children who are in pairs and not white have a very hard time getting permanent homes, but they’ll stay in foster care until they are dumped in turn the day each turns 18. Better that than a mom who’d love them and take care of them because that mom was unfortunate enough to be hit by a car while crossing a road. Punish all of us for someone else running a red light. In spare time, I’ve called around over the last few months and the agencies I spoke with told me that they probably would not approve us because of my medical, but I was welcome to pay the fees to get into the system and be evaluated and they’d let us know then if we could proceed. Of course we’re welcome to give them $8,000-$12,000 (just to get started – the total fees are much, MUCH more by the end) for them to give us an official no. All fees paid in adoption are non-refundable to legally keep it all as adoption rather than selling in a system where perfect white babies somehow cost more to adopt out than an older black boy who will be in the system longer.

So it’s a biological child or none for us.

I’m supposed to call back with the first day of my period and we’ll set up an FET (frozen embryo transfer) since we have eight. Here’s another effect of Octo-Mom – it’s tempting to have all of them transferred. Not that we would, but hell, still tempting, you know? And also Stanford is ethical and so they wouldn’t transfer so many anyway.

I just want to go take a nap and never wake up from this nightmare.


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