I am completely unable to sleep and totally emotional right now. In 12 hours I’ll be in a room in a type of stir-up that props my legs up by my thighs rather than feet about to be knocked out to have everything sucked out. Since I’m chicken about certain things like that, I’m not really tired. And I’m emotional because I know that today (it’s after midnight now, happy 28th to me, I’m so old now, late-20’s) our future-children are going to be fertilized. I’m sitting here thinking, “Holy fuck, we’re literally going to be combined into new living things.” It’s overwhelming. I’m sure it’s overwhelming when two people who’ve been trying find out they’re expecting, but it’s something else altogether to know the exact date it will happen.
Tonight I was walking by the couch to go to the kitchen and Cody put his hand out on my abdomen and smiled. He said that our babies are there and will grow there. I know he’s as overwhelmed as I am.
I don’t know if I can possibly truly describe what I feel right now. Love. Fear. Happiness. Abstract thoughts. Just…so much.
It might happen. It really might.