Are we parents yet?

The Clements’ IVF Journey

A collection of (more) thoughts November 11, 2008

You know what?  I still am in the mindset that this isn’t really happening, that there’s no chance we’ll get to be parents.  I’m used to having it in my head that there’s no way IVF could be afforded in any way, and, in fact, when Cody and I began dating, one thing we did talk about was whether or not he could stand a childless life.  Children were (and are) something we both wanted, but the out-of-pocket IVF cost was prohibitive.  It wasn’t until I casually mentioned to a doctor during my yearly girl-torture about IVF, and she told us some states require IVF to be covered by insurance, and that Apple here has a plan that covers it.  From there, Cody shifted his focus a bit from working toward a job at Digg and instead to working his ass off to get into Apple.

Only 11 days ago we had our first appointment at Stanford after United kept being a pain in the ass and sending us to doctors whose services United actually didn’t cover (what, were they hoping we’d accept that and just pay out of pocket?!).  After the run-around we had before, seeing multiple doctors and finding out the office visits were all that United covered, naturally we didn’t go to Stanford with a lot of hope.  But, before the first appointment, they verified that IVF IS a covered procedure, so now if United decides to back out, they’re going to have to answer to fraking STANFORD about why they will no longer pay.  You can piss off individual people, but don’t piss off one of the nation’s top IVF centers without expecting something bad to happen.  So we’re good to go.

And in the 11 days after that first appointment, not counting that appointment, we’ve already been down there an additional four times together, plus one time I had to go back on my own for blood, and a surgical procedure, and I’m already on some pills, and this Friday there’s another ultrasound, and then Monday it’ll be shots galore, and today this arrived via FedEx:

Yeah, like that’s not intimidating. That’s the stuff that will go into me in under three weeks. Each of those boxes in the upper right contains what’s shown out of the box right next to it. The two bags in the upper center contains dozens of needles, and the thin things with orange caps in the lower leg are more needles. The stuff in the bottom center has to be mixed right before each dose. The stuff in the bag to the left of the pill bottles is what will make the eggs ready to be sucked out of me 36 hours after taking. Then there are antibiotics, progesterone, and anti-anxiety pills. And Cody gets to organize all of this. 🙂 Because he’ll have to give me all the shots every day because I’m chicken.

I’ve heard that, once things come together, it can all take off like a rocket.  That’s damn true.  And what else is lucky is that they don’t have a ton of IVF couples at any given tome due to the often-last-minute nature of things.  We may find out on the 5th that the eggs are ready to be retrieved the 7th, so we go in the 7th.  Of course our doctor has to be available.  She can’t be if she personally has 20 patients.  Stanford accepts about 1,000 patients (counting both singles and couples as one) per yer into its IVF program (they have I believe about 20 doctors total for their program, so about four patients per month each), and not all those patients go on to do IVF.  At the class on Friday one couple dropped out halfway through.  They got us in now, otherwise it would have been halfway through next year.  So we feel fortunate that it’s taken off as fast as it has because next summer we won’t be here anymore.

It’s all still a bit unreal.  It might seem more real when I get poked every day.  The days are dragging on.  I can’t wait until everything’s done so we know if it worked!!